those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
