After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
