So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
