I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
