How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
