I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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