Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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