So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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