I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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