If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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