My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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