Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
