I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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