Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
