My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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