I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
