hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
