Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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