**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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