I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
