with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
