Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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