Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
