Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
