she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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