my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
