You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
smell my finger.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
