After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
MIDGETS
????
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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