I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
