9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
