Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
