Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
