it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pants are for mortals
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
