Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
