So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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