dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
