At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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