HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
