can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
