What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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