idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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