I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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