Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
