i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
