i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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