question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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