You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
