I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
