we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
