nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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