it was like his penis was on wheels.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
