new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
