with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
