I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You left your phone here
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