Whod you bang
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
